A Personal Reflection on 2013

This post is a personal reflection of the past year. 2013 was a big year for us as we welcomed our second daughter into the world. Summer was born on Sunday, May 5th. I had complications from the epidural and you can read more about that here. Even though my symptoms lasted less than a week it really gave me a new perspective. I was able to forgive certain people in my life, forget, and move on. I was able to let go of relationships that were no longer meaningful or fulfilling. I left the playgroup I joined when Ellie was 3 months old. I had wanted to leave when I no longer felt it was a good fit for either myself or Ellie, but I didn't have the courage. One Tuesday morning Ellie did not want to go to playgroup. I realized this group was also not a good fit for her. I cannot tell you how relieved I felt to have left the group. This particular group of women spent most days talking about other women or just being negative in general. Negativity is contagious and I did not want to be a part of that. I know we aren't going to be friends with everyone we meet, but, you can still be friendly. It's been about five months since I left the group and I have been able to meet new people and strengthen the friendships I already had. Ellie has also made new friends. It has been a good change.

On the topic of relationships I have really made some great friendships this past year. I can honestly say that all the friendships in my life are special. I have re-connected with women I went to High School with and who have children Ellie's age. I have met women through children's classes and Moms groups. I am very thankful for the women in my life. We support each other and I can ask them for advice without judgment. We have a good time whether we are with our kids or out for a kids-free night. On a side note, on New Year's Eve my friend, Steff, texted me asking if I want to meet at the gym for a workout. Sounded great. We could catch up and burn some calories. Neither of us thought to call to see if they were even open. We both pulled into the lot and realized they were closed. Instead we went across the street to a bar and had a drink. We still got to de-stress (just in a different way) and catch up.

I also have been making more time for myself. Sometimes I feel guilty leaving my husband with both kids, but it's important to do things that make me happy outside of my family. This includes going for a run or to the gym, shopping, Target and Barnes and Noble, or meeting friends for dinner and drinks. An evening of good food, good conversation and laughter with friends is always needed once in a while! 

I often think about how time has flown by. I feel like it was yesterday I was at the University of Delaware- young and independent. Now I have a family and two daughters. I think about what my daughters will be like and what they will enjoy. I wonder if they will be like me. But, really I am enjoying them now. They won't be little forever. I love watching Ellie grow and learn. I love watching Summer smile at her sister. I love watching the girls play together, show each other love, and hold hands. I love snuggling with them, giving them kisses, laughing with them. I have never in my life been happier than I am today. I plan to enjoy day by day and not look forward to the things in the future (like Summer turning 1...I am in no rush for that to happen)!

One of my challenges or weaknesses is worrying too much. I have made more of an effort this past year to not dwell on certain situations- things that I have no control over. I like reading the quotes I've pinned, such as: